Maybe 2019 will have better days.
I've noticed, back in 2015 (which was, at that time, what I considered to be the worst year of my life) I wrote a post about how I wished things would change. I wished life would become better, because at that time, I felt that things just couldn't get any worse.
It's 2018 now. And yes, things did get better--but things also got worse.
In 2016, mom passed away, but I also had my thesis exhibit, I graduated with honors and a Best Thesis award, published Five Years, and attended APLA for the first time.
2017 was a different story. I became severely depressed, and at some points became suicidal. I went to Isabela in June with my dad, and though I enjoyed serving the disciples there, I just couldn't bear the judgments and insults that I felt. I did start my Masters in Psychology though, and I attended my first service trip, HOPE Youth Corps in Ormoc.
I hoped 2018 would be overall better than 2017, but here we are... and sadly, it's not. I'm terrified entering the Singles Ministry, and I got heartbroken so badly, I was sent to the hospital and given antidepressants that hurt more than helped. But more than ever, I became deeply invested in mental health, and involving myself into support groups for people who are grieving and for caregivers.
I'm hoping 2019 would be a completely new story. I'm praying that in 2019, I'll be in Canada, taking my Masters in Art Therapy--exactly what I dreamed of. And best of all, I pray that by 2019, I'll be dating in the kingdom. That's all I'm asking for.
But for now, I'm here and I'm stuck. Will I miss this someday? I think I will. But I do believe someday, life will be better. But that someday just isn't coming any time soon.
It's 2018 now. And yes, things did get better--but things also got worse.
In 2016, mom passed away, but I also had my thesis exhibit, I graduated with honors and a Best Thesis award, published Five Years, and attended APLA for the first time.
2017 was a different story. I became severely depressed, and at some points became suicidal. I went to Isabela in June with my dad, and though I enjoyed serving the disciples there, I just couldn't bear the judgments and insults that I felt. I did start my Masters in Psychology though, and I attended my first service trip, HOPE Youth Corps in Ormoc.
I hoped 2018 would be overall better than 2017, but here we are... and sadly, it's not. I'm terrified entering the Singles Ministry, and I got heartbroken so badly, I was sent to the hospital and given antidepressants that hurt more than helped. But more than ever, I became deeply invested in mental health, and involving myself into support groups for people who are grieving and for caregivers.
I'm hoping 2019 would be a completely new story. I'm praying that in 2019, I'll be in Canada, taking my Masters in Art Therapy--exactly what I dreamed of. And best of all, I pray that by 2019, I'll be dating in the kingdom. That's all I'm asking for.
But for now, I'm here and I'm stuck. Will I miss this someday? I think I will. But I do believe someday, life will be better. But that someday just isn't coming any time soon.