I wasn't lying. [Part 2]
The woman who sat across me and the guy who sat in front of me both went, "Hey, he waved at you!" The guy added, "Way to go, kid," the woman chuckled, and mom was amazed.
After joking about how Apple ruined our lives by applying technical difficulty to insult, James then opened up with the raffle where in he asks three personal questions and whoever answers the first question gets Jack of Fables 1, whoever answers the second gets SKRWL, and whoever answers the third gets 1,001 Nights of Snowfall.
I had no agenda on answering, because I thought there would be no way that I'd win.
And so he began.
"Who can tell me the exact date of my birthday?"
The whole room was alight with a buzz. Everyone knew the year of his birth was 1979, but not the exact day.
I felt I knew. I thought I knew. I tried to think over it repeatedly, and then shot up my hand shyly while James pointed at me as I did so.
"S...S-September 23, 1979."
James looked at his assistant.
His assistant looked at me.
James looked at me.
"...actually, you're one day off."
Oh blow me down! I screamed aloud in my head. I followed his Twitter account down to the punctuation marks and remembered every single picture, place, and experience he noted down by heart. Should have known.
"But it's so amazingly close," he added. "And since no one was able to answer but you, YOU WIN BY DEFAULT!'
I was still cast in a state of denial that I lost it all and it was just hopeless to win.
But then claps came from all corners, and the guy who acknowledged James' wave at me said, "Wow, you won!" Mom nudged me and said, "Ally, you got it!"
My head snapped up. Say what?
JJ raised a copy of Jack of Fables, slapped it a couple of times, said, "It's yours, little lady!"
And then I thought, God, you think of everything!
After finding out Taffy was a Bluepoint Siamese cat and I still don't know how many Fables covers he has done, the talk came, and JJ talked of his history as an artist, drawing outstanding X-Men sketches when he was still thirteen (and not to mention how adorable he was when he was 3), reasons why he instead does personal work rather than commissions, and as we all shared a few laughs through the talk, we also got to ask questions.
I was so freakishly nervous when I was about to ask my question, I felt so much blood swelling at my temples. It was impossible for me to ask him a question without stuttering or shaking, because he was smiling at me and giggling at me (probably recognized me as the little lady who waved at him as he entered).
"Hi. Um... well, you used to draw covers for The Umbrella Academy, right am I?"
"Yeah."
"How come you stopped drawing for them?"
I don't remember exactly what he said, but I remember, "Because I didn't want to make comic covers anymore. I remember Gerard Way made this long, long letter to me, and everyone was [trying to convince me to come back]... plus you know, I didn't want to draw for emo boys anymore."
And at that gave me a little wink.
I gave out a little giggle and added, "Well, they're more of superheroes than emo boys."
I don't know if he was taken aback by that sort-of back-sass, but he laughed anyway.
And how I wish I could just sink into the floor as he would laugh.
So many epic things. Oh so beautiful things.
One of the guys gave amazing questions with equally amazing answers.
"Let me say your hair is fabulous--what kind of shampoo do you use?"
I hollered, "Well said!"
And at the same time, I thought, I wish I was brave enough to ask something like that.
James chuckled and raked his fingers through his hair, saying, "I just use... anything I guess. I was probably blessed with such long, lustrous hair."
It stirred a buzz of laughter and joy all around.
His humor is just so contagious.
The same guy asked another question, "So what else do you like to do?"
"Girls." He answered almost instantly.
Honestly, that really turned me on.
Not to be disgusting, but when I replay that scene in my head, I just shudder with euphoria.
And how obvious is it already that I am madly in love with him?
When it's all drained down, it seems like such a long, marvelous journey and I would hate for it to end.
I hated the end of it, really.
I thought, That wasn't a bad first time to meet him--
can I deal with the fact that it might also be the last time?
The winners of the raffle were called to go first, and being the first to answer a question, I suspected I'd have to get my books signed first.
James' assistant said, "Oh my, they're quite excited, aren't they?'
"Signing already?"
And he scrambled everywhere to look for pens.
The nervousness was mutual among me and him. I could sense it. Everyone was rushing right to the middle, I was pushed, I was dragged, he was searching everywhere for his silver pen, about five people were trying to round up everyone into a straight line (exactly what you would do if you were among cows), I prayed to get them signed before twelve.
Then some malignant force drove everything together.
All the pushing and heckling led me straight to the edge of the table, and James found his pen.
He smiled at me.
I smiled at him.
Everyone was on their feet getting him to sign for them, and then I offered my books without a word, silent and excited, and gently he laid them down and began to sketch.
He took out the little ticket with the dedication I wanted him to write down and laughed, and then I said, "Oh, that's just some thing... I had a dream featuring you in it, the song was in there, I decided, 'What the heck, I'll just make him write this...'"
"So you don't want this on here?"
"...I guess not."
He simply sketched on my PR3 and the prize of which is Jack of Fables 1, and after handing them to me, he said, "Don't steal my identity."
Will do, I thought.
But I didn't want a farewell to end like this.
Such long weeks of dreaming, of thinking, of imagining, cannot possibly go away so easily.
It might be the last time I'll ever see him, where I'll ever talk to him,
After joking about how Apple ruined our lives by applying technical difficulty to insult, James then opened up with the raffle where in he asks three personal questions and whoever answers the first question gets Jack of Fables 1, whoever answers the second gets SKRWL, and whoever answers the third gets 1,001 Nights of Snowfall.
I had no agenda on answering, because I thought there would be no way that I'd win.
And so he began.
"Who can tell me the exact date of my birthday?"
The whole room was alight with a buzz. Everyone knew the year of his birth was 1979, but not the exact day.
I felt I knew. I thought I knew. I tried to think over it repeatedly, and then shot up my hand shyly while James pointed at me as I did so.
"S...S-September 23, 1979."
James looked at his assistant.
His assistant looked at me.
James looked at me.
"...actually, you're one day off."
Oh blow me down! I screamed aloud in my head. I followed his Twitter account down to the punctuation marks and remembered every single picture, place, and experience he noted down by heart. Should have known.
"But it's so amazingly close," he added. "And since no one was able to answer but you, YOU WIN BY DEFAULT!'
I was still cast in a state of denial that I lost it all and it was just hopeless to win.
But then claps came from all corners, and the guy who acknowledged James' wave at me said, "Wow, you won!" Mom nudged me and said, "Ally, you got it!"
My head snapped up. Say what?
JJ raised a copy of Jack of Fables, slapped it a couple of times, said, "It's yours, little lady!"
And then I thought, God, you think of everything!
After finding out Taffy was a Bluepoint Siamese cat and I still don't know how many Fables covers he has done, the talk came, and JJ talked of his history as an artist, drawing outstanding X-Men sketches when he was still thirteen (and not to mention how adorable he was when he was 3), reasons why he instead does personal work rather than commissions, and as we all shared a few laughs through the talk, we also got to ask questions.
I was so freakishly nervous when I was about to ask my question, I felt so much blood swelling at my temples. It was impossible for me to ask him a question without stuttering or shaking, because he was smiling at me and giggling at me (probably recognized me as the little lady who waved at him as he entered).
"Hi. Um... well, you used to draw covers for The Umbrella Academy, right am I?"
"Yeah."
"How come you stopped drawing for them?"
I don't remember exactly what he said, but I remember, "Because I didn't want to make comic covers anymore. I remember Gerard Way made this long, long letter to me, and everyone was [trying to convince me to come back]... plus you know, I didn't want to draw for emo boys anymore."
And at that gave me a little wink.
I gave out a little giggle and added, "Well, they're more of superheroes than emo boys."
I don't know if he was taken aback by that sort-of back-sass, but he laughed anyway.
And how I wish I could just sink into the floor as he would laugh.
So many epic things. Oh so beautiful things.
One of the guys gave amazing questions with equally amazing answers.
"Let me say your hair is fabulous--what kind of shampoo do you use?"
I hollered, "Well said!"
And at the same time, I thought, I wish I was brave enough to ask something like that.
James chuckled and raked his fingers through his hair, saying, "I just use... anything I guess. I was probably blessed with such long, lustrous hair."
It stirred a buzz of laughter and joy all around.
His humor is just so contagious.
The same guy asked another question, "So what else do you like to do?"
"Girls." He answered almost instantly.
Honestly, that really turned me on.
Not to be disgusting, but when I replay that scene in my head, I just shudder with euphoria.
And how obvious is it already that I am madly in love with him?
When it's all drained down, it seems like such a long, marvelous journey and I would hate for it to end.
I hated the end of it, really.
I thought, That wasn't a bad first time to meet him--
can I deal with the fact that it might also be the last time?
The winners of the raffle were called to go first, and being the first to answer a question, I suspected I'd have to get my books signed first.
James' assistant said, "Oh my, they're quite excited, aren't they?'
"Signing already?"
And he scrambled everywhere to look for pens.
The nervousness was mutual among me and him. I could sense it. Everyone was rushing right to the middle, I was pushed, I was dragged, he was searching everywhere for his silver pen, about five people were trying to round up everyone into a straight line (exactly what you would do if you were among cows), I prayed to get them signed before twelve.
Then some malignant force drove everything together.
All the pushing and heckling led me straight to the edge of the table, and James found his pen.
He smiled at me.
I smiled at him.
Everyone was on their feet getting him to sign for them, and then I offered my books without a word, silent and excited, and gently he laid them down and began to sketch.
He took out the little ticket with the dedication I wanted him to write down and laughed, and then I said, "Oh, that's just some thing... I had a dream featuring you in it, the song was in there, I decided, 'What the heck, I'll just make him write this...'"
"So you don't want this on here?"
"...I guess not."
He simply sketched on my PR3 and the prize of which is Jack of Fables 1, and after handing them to me, he said, "Don't steal my identity."
Will do, I thought.
But I didn't want a farewell to end like this.
Such long weeks of dreaming, of thinking, of imagining, cannot possibly go away so easily.
It might be the last time I'll ever see him, where I'll ever talk to him,
and after this I'll go back to being cooped up in a room, daydreaming, and drawing,
listening to songs with sincere heartache,
just praying to see him again.
That thought shattered my mind.
I had to do something. I did not intend to come to the signing and leaving with the same aching feeling that came to me the past days.
As he was sketching Snow White, I prayed for something to happen once again.
Then like a message descended from Heaven, the words,
Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you walk near?
Karen Carpenter's voice disrupted my hearing, broke the weight of my thoughts.
And nervously, I blurted out, "C... C-Could I just... well... get a hug?"
I was so nervous saying that, my hands laid slap on my face.
Just like me, they long to be close to you.
And the big, wide universe just came crumbling down.
Suddenly I was shaking. I don't remember if he said anything to me or not, but he stood up, and put both his arms around me.
It was a gentle, warm hug, a very light and soft embrace. It possessed this odd power, this sense of strength from something so subtle and sweet.
Slowly, I crept my arms around him also.
And in a few seconds, I left.
Well.
That sure brought out the cheesy side of my ability to narrate and express.
It's been three days since that wonderful day.
It felt like I've been touched by an angel.
Only time eluded such an irrefutable grasp.
Up to now, I still miss James Jean, and I still miss that day.
And I would do anything to relive that single day.