The JFK.

My dad just downloaded the entirety of JFK (circa 1991) after much pleading with him to finally either get a copy or wait an excruciating matter of minutes to get the whole thing into a USB.

And I've become scared of the idea that one day the world will get so desperate to find out who shot John F. Kennedy or else everyone will start drawing straws who'll take a turn on Obama.

I also got scared of the idea that no one will bother to really look into this, and if someone does kill the president again and remains unknown for many, many years, nobody will care anymore. It's as if all the hard work the detectives who looked into JFK's assassination were meaningless.

I want to pick up every little note made regarding JFK's death, whether it comes to me through chance, or by trial-and-error, or even through my thoughts, or my dreams. If I could find out who killed JFK, whether or not I'm living by the time all that is done or not, or if someone gets it before I do, it would be fine.

There will be a lot of cruel people in this world, but God forbid I avoid them. 

And yes, it sounds crazy that a 14-year old girl would want to do all of this just to put a man who is probably dead by now behind bars and to live an obsessive, head-and-shoulders-squinted-into-screen life looking for answers, but it's not like I want to do it either.

If there were some way I could find this out so quickly, I definitely would. If God would allow me to find out all these for myself, I would. If I were wise enough to tackle all this, I would.

Unfortunately, it's 2010, and JFK died in 1963. And all I know about tackling detective mumbo-jumbo is always carry a magnifying glass and look cool in some washed-out jacket. Who cares if coffee's frayed the sleeves?

I must be insane. I know I am, I know I am.

I know this is too bold a move, that this is too much to handle, that I don't know what I'm doing, that all I want is to find out who killed my favorite First Lady's (sorry Jackie, I know you don't like being called that) husband, that it is the most stupid thing in the world to put something as elusive and complex as this into a mindless twit.

 

I just don't know why I want to know all these things so badly.