The actual contemplations.

This has come to me before.

A day like this, the sky varying in color and the air changing in temperature depending on whether the sky would snow or the sun would shine--a day in late April, when the moments of the month reveal themselves.

Earlier today, my cousins stopped by the LA Festival of Books in order to rub elbows with Mr. James Jean.

And I've got to tell you, the story of how they met him was just awesome.

My cousin Renzo told me that when they got there they found the Giant Robot booth where he was scheduled to sign stuff. After making the necessary purchases, here comes Mr. Taiwanese-Man; cue the squealing fangirls, the whooping fanboys, and the need to brace themselves and protect what is left of their eardrums.

Renzo and my other cousin Dustin (his sister, and a fellow fan of Mr. James Jean) wandered off and stalked him until they reached the front desk and cut somebody off. And they made quite an impression on the rest of the crowd, surviving by means of hat and hoodie in order to get Mr. Taiwanese-Man sign something immediately.

Not to mention, many ladies started really liking my cousin Renzo, thinking that he of fifteen-years old and exceptional height was in college. I'm very thankful the fangirls didn't murder them, and also thankful that the fangirls respected us Asians enough for making sure none of us went injured. You know what could happen if one of our kind was dismissed as destroyed--we all would call it World War III, and send Ninja-Tarsiers to invade LA.

We are a very awesome group of people, yes.

And so technically, in the struggle between Ally's relatives and fanana-banana-fangirls, Ally's relatives won, and took home the gold.

I don't think they realize this is one of the nicest things anyone in the entire world has done for me--if not, it is the nicest thing ever done for me. They're going through tough times, tougher than I, and they're always very giving, very generous, very kind, without absolutely anything to expect in return.

It's one of my dreams that they come back to the Philippines, get a good home, Auntie Dynah gets a job, Renzo and Dustin get good education, and most importantly, they learn to love God. I'm praying for them that they become Christians, seeing the miracles in their lives. If there was one thing I could do that would repay them for the trouble they've been through just to get me those signed Hint Mint tins, it would be getting them into the Christian world that is absolutely nothing of this world.

It won't be easy. But it'll be worth it.

Speaking of things that are absolutely nothing of this world, how would you like a story of this little thing you people call... a wedding?

Yes, my good church friend, Ruchelle, is now the wife of my other good church friend, Alvin.

You know how weddings are--nostalgia in the air, free food, ladies and gents in fancy dresses and pants, a baby cries, and cake for only the bride and the groom to enjoy. Except in this case they gave out cupcakes and not slices of cake.

And after seeing this wedding, I've started to doubt Cosmo Kramer's outlook on marriage. Yes, to the Kramerican eye, it may seem like some sort of one-way ticket to a life-long, man-made prison, but honestly, it's not.

It is nice, and would be nice to care about somebody--for once.

And it would be nice to have somebody care for you too!

And I mean this sincerely. I'm sorry Kramer, I've put my trust in you a little long. You may have some points in many of your analogies and theories, but to truth, most aren't all that factual.

I do want to spend the rest of my life with someone, but I think what keeps on making me hate the idea of marriage is that no one in this world would actually consider wanting to spend the rest of his life with me.

Do you really think anyone who spends her time rambling and ranting about the petty contemplations of life in digital format would ever get a perfect soulmate in this world? Or someone with all these questions and ideas and theoretical insights on supernatural phenomena (not as scientific as it sounds) could attract someone decent and right-minded?

Not to mention... I'm not a good-looking person myself at all.

Though, in a Christian wedding, looks are not as important or as highly regarded compared to character and grace and wisdom. Those are three things in a very long list of things in this world which I want which I may never have. Which is unfortunate, since in order to serve God in prosperity, I need those three things.

I could always pray for them, though. You can always put your hope into prayer.

Starting today, I'll list somewhere what are the things I'll have to pray for tonight.

For one, I could pray for those things--character, grace, and wisdom.

Second, to learn how to like myself a little more. Ally Publico in many ways is very nice. She can be a little selfish, and easily angered by the little things in life, but I will have to learn to grow up with her in some way.

Third, to help my cousins and aunt and those who need guidance the most, and that my wish for them would come true. It's not an impossible thing because it's my only way for showing there is a certain kind of love that does conquer everything else--the only certain kind of love that will set every single person on earth (whether big or small, rich or poor, intelligent or naive, sweet or evil) free.

And fourth.

Oh yes. I must thank God for letting me live today, for letting me learn something in this day which I've lived, for giving me so many things of which I can never count, and for His guidance each day, and His guidance which will resonate long after my life ends.

And if my life does end anytime soon, I have to thank Him for giving me such a wonderful one.