Regular Post
First post of 2012. Holla.
--
Well, I'd really love to spare you the long, rambling, "I never thought I'd live to see [insert current year here]" speech, so I'll just say... yeah.
You get the point. "It's a new year, we're bound to reach for something actually interesting this year; we're going to find someone, make some stuff, kick some butt, rule the world..." you know, it's the same old thing over and over and over, but it never gets done anyway.
But you know what?
This year, all that could actually happen.
I mean think about it. This year, I leave the old four-year high school grind and go to college--actually not just college, art school.
I'm only beginning the long & winding journey to the summit of my life; the awakening of my true form as an artist. Finally, all those weirdish dreams of doing what all those dudes from Cartoon Network, all those hours gawking on the laptop screen and salivating over the works of James Jean, Esao Andrews, Eric Powell, Jim Lee, Sam Weber, (and the list goes on), all those empty spray cans and dehydrated paint tubes will finally get me somewhere.
And I've got plans for this year that I've never dared to do before.
I, Ally Publico, dare to be stupid.
And that stupidity has made me actually think and believe I could take a plane ride from Manila to NYC, then from NYC to LA, then from LA to Manila all over again all by myself.
Yeah. Real stupid.
But really, it's going to happen. And just for the summer; think about it. Two whole months (or, well, months) from the Pearl of the Orient Seas, flying to the Big Apple, searing the skies for the City Of Angels, then come back to the Motherland yet again.
It's stupid, yeah. But it's what I need.
I feel like I'm breaking out of some freakish bubble of madness, trying hard to get to myself and find myself in this world. I need to be afraid for a while--or be very brave, however I turn out. Try to do things I've never done, be things I never thought I could be, find things people just seem to miss.
Well that came out as pointless jabber, but you get my point.
I just need to be set free. Even for two months.
I'll finally be everywhere I've always wanted.
And guess what? In four days, I'll yet again meet the same person I've been dying to see again for so long.
It can't get any more perfect; 4:30 PM, at Ateneo. Myself, Sab, Shauna, Sab & Shauna's cousin, and perhaps Sab & Shauna's mom, a whole lot of people, and of course, James Jean.
I've vowed to myself to do everything right this time. Everything--getting him to sign my sketchbook, asking him meaningful questions, talking to him, showing him some of my work, just being me.
I can't wait to do it all over again; get excited, lose myself, trip, slip, die, live, and tell the story of it all to everyone else I meet. I can't wait to make James Jean the hero again.
I can't wait to tell everyone, "Hey, I met the guy who told me I could be an artist; because of him, I believe in myself."
At the moment, everything's just a little regular. I'm shaking in my pants from news that the UPCAT results might get leaked later today, that next Monday my toe's getting surgery again, that my procrastination tendencies will lead me to absolute doom, and that I'm doomed to a life of eternal headdesking if I just don't get up and do something.
Well the wheels are in motion now, aren't they?
--
Well, I'd really love to spare you the long, rambling, "I never thought I'd live to see [insert current year here]" speech, so I'll just say... yeah.
You get the point. "It's a new year, we're bound to reach for something actually interesting this year; we're going to find someone, make some stuff, kick some butt, rule the world..." you know, it's the same old thing over and over and over, but it never gets done anyway.
But you know what?
This year, all that could actually happen.
I mean think about it. This year, I leave the old four-year high school grind and go to college--actually not just college, art school.
I'm only beginning the long & winding journey to the summit of my life; the awakening of my true form as an artist. Finally, all those weirdish dreams of doing what all those dudes from Cartoon Network, all those hours gawking on the laptop screen and salivating over the works of James Jean, Esao Andrews, Eric Powell, Jim Lee, Sam Weber, (and the list goes on), all those empty spray cans and dehydrated paint tubes will finally get me somewhere.
And I've got plans for this year that I've never dared to do before.
I, Ally Publico, dare to be stupid.
And that stupidity has made me actually think and believe I could take a plane ride from Manila to NYC, then from NYC to LA, then from LA to Manila all over again all by myself.
Yeah. Real stupid.
But really, it's going to happen. And just for the summer; think about it. Two whole months (or, well, months) from the Pearl of the Orient Seas, flying to the Big Apple, searing the skies for the City Of Angels, then come back to the Motherland yet again.
It's stupid, yeah. But it's what I need.
I feel like I'm breaking out of some freakish bubble of madness, trying hard to get to myself and find myself in this world. I need to be afraid for a while--or be very brave, however I turn out. Try to do things I've never done, be things I never thought I could be, find things people just seem to miss.
Well that came out as pointless jabber, but you get my point.
I just need to be set free. Even for two months.
I'll finally be everywhere I've always wanted.
And guess what? In four days, I'll yet again meet the same person I've been dying to see again for so long.
It can't get any more perfect; 4:30 PM, at Ateneo. Myself, Sab, Shauna, Sab & Shauna's cousin, and perhaps Sab & Shauna's mom, a whole lot of people, and of course, James Jean.
I've vowed to myself to do everything right this time. Everything--getting him to sign my sketchbook, asking him meaningful questions, talking to him, showing him some of my work, just being me.
I can't wait to do it all over again; get excited, lose myself, trip, slip, die, live, and tell the story of it all to everyone else I meet. I can't wait to make James Jean the hero again.
I can't wait to tell everyone, "Hey, I met the guy who told me I could be an artist; because of him, I believe in myself."
At the moment, everything's just a little regular. I'm shaking in my pants from news that the UPCAT results might get leaked later today, that next Monday my toe's getting surgery again, that my procrastination tendencies will lead me to absolute doom, and that I'm doomed to a life of eternal headdesking if I just don't get up and do something.
Well the wheels are in motion now, aren't they?