The life in these mid-2010's.

Congratulations, Ally! You are now rebuffed by society's extreme standards of prejudice right into the meaty part of the middle of the year! What do you have to say for yourself now?

What do I have to say?

What do I  have to say?

I say Hallelujah, that's what I say!

Well, of course the summer of Ally is beyond gone now, and I've started on my subjects last week (working with only Algebra II and Chemistry then gradually doing all six subjects), and it's getting a little harder to talk to my good friends again and I'm hunching over my pretty red desk and practically living on cookies and strawberry yogurt again. 

But hey, I've still got my health.

And well, what can I say about now? I still am pretty much the same as I've been at the beginning of the year.

Of course not everything will maintain exactly the same over whatever period of time. No two moments will ever be exactly the same, and every time something in this world twitches or moves or shakes, not a single thing can make it twitch, move, or shake the same way ever again.

But really, at the beginning of the year, I had all the things my life could live and revolve around in one basic list of things written in no particular order whatsoever.

I don't think it's changed that much.

James Jean is still very, very much the love of my life. Seinfeld is still the best TV show ever to spread itself across the universe. Bob the Crocodile, of course he's still my favorite comic creation and a great best friend to me (well, second to Sabrina, of course). And yes I still love comics like my life couldn't last without them.

But a few things have changed to some degree.

Well of course, not everything in life is a hundred percent, and that's why I pray. I'm praying so much for a final decision of what I want to do with my life, what I can do with my life, and most importantly how God can use my life to reach out to others who don't know Him.

And also, I really owe it to Him for giving me the real special gift of living, because I alone cannot live, not without my God to be there, believing in me even when I don't believe in myself. I cannot live without loving God with every single fiber of my being to the point where I will willingly die because I have so much faith in Him. I cannot live without the assurance that I can go to Heaven, my family can go to Heaven, every person I've ever come across on this planet can go to Heaven just by believing in Him.

And I really do believe in Him. He's done so much for me, that if I had the time to write down all he's ever done for me, I don't think my life could last long enough to have it all printed in paper for me.

And I can't believe what they did to Him. He was flogged, He was offered sour wine, He was mocked... and they killed Him by nailing him onto the Cross. That's what was supposed to happen. But why did they have to ridicule Him so much?

He was the only one Man on this earth Who lived without doing a single thing wrong in His entire life.

When I think about God, I don't feel any inch of misery in me. He knows every single thing about this world, He knows the people who have died, He knows what every single living person is doing right now, He knows all of what we're thinking because He is in control.

I can put all my trust in Him, and He knows exactly what to do.

--

Let me tell you lot a secret.

Before I sleep or when I study or I have some time alone for myself, I always daydream. Or I always fantasize or I always imagine what my life could be if I do this or if I do that.

But I always have a particular dream in mind that I can't sleep without thinking about.

I have it in my head, like a little movie with dialogue and narration and everything all perfectly planned out.

 

This little fantasy I have is so precious to me, because it's like the blueprint of how I see my future.

I once had a fantasy that one day, I could have James Jean won over to God, and that fantasy was so amazing, I said to myself that I can never, ever, give that up. It would be the greatest thing I could do for him, and for anyone else in the entire world. Even if everyone says it's not easy, even if everyone says it's preposterous, it's ridiculous, it's impossible.

Well, "impossible" is just one of God's favorite words.

I believe with God, anything is possible. If it's good, if it's pleasing, if it's righteous, God will know what to do about it.

My mom said to me once that God knows the desires of my heart and He'll take the best opportunity to get me to it. I don't need to be a smart person, I don't need to be a good-looking person, all I need to do is pray and believe.

And I promise I will do so for the rest of my life.